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January 31 来，过年了 年初三，心里想着马上要交的extra homework该怎样解决。
找了个TR置身于其中，企图走出春节的mode，干点实事。这又何尝容易，精神状态暂且不谈，思想意识就已经超出了控制一样。这不，又来了：
…………
三十夜，很大早就起来了，其实是因为没有懒床的欲望，或者因为盼着起床后的一切。母亲一直在建议我今天应该穿什么，老爸则忙着打电话拜年和联系着中午晚上的饭局。出门前的准备可能有些忙乱，但心情总是无比畅快的，因为充满了渴望。
临园宾馆中餐店，这个不会变。外婆在小姨的建议下穿上了唐装，大舅二舅两家也都从梓潼上来了，平日难得见到的姨夫今天显得特别高兴，三舅大伯见了我就掏出新年钱，弟弟妹妹问我晚上要不要另开一桌麻将……大人们总会说过年一定要说吉利话，高高兴兴地度过。席间男士们高声敬酒畅论，女士们忙着互相聊起家常，孩儿们个个低头猛吃，当然也时不时被大人叫起来敬酒啥的。最后上的每人一份小吃，全部都会传到小孩面前，所有好菜的扫尾工作也都由我们完成。大人高兴，小孩幸福，这再好不过了。
传统的过年消遣方式就会在饭后开始。小姨家通常会摆上3、4桌，按水平层次分类，不过都是为了过年乐和乐和，麻将对一大家人来说再合适不过了。小孩子有时候也凑一桌啥的，不过基本上都是三分钟热情，玩个新鲜罢了，这毕竟还是没有电脑游戏的魅力大。好吃的当然满屋子都有，样样都是难得的佳肴啊，多得供孩子们享用通宵的。其他的不重要，饺子和腊肉香肠则必不可少。伴随着央视的春节联欢晚会，吃闹玩笑顿时充满整间屋子。和守在电脑前的弟弟妹妹不一样，我会一直认真的关注春晚，不管什么节目（当然除了京剧），因为我感觉从那里面可以找到过年的气氛。
大人们会在11点20左右起身前往圣水寺烧子夜香，这也该是前几年才兴起的方式。我是没那个心情和冲动去做那事，不过听说三十夜那里的人数可以上万。大人们看来都疯了。
钟声敲响后便是鞭炮时间了，不过不是自己放，因为不准。好像很小的时候就禁止了，都差不多忘了那是什么感觉了。只能看看窗外远处的礼花，或者点两根“安全烟花“啥的。规矩被改动了，但习俗还是不会忘的。
雄心勃勃吵着要熬夜的我们在4点钟的时候就不行了，通常在沙发上东倒西歪的睡去，手上可能还会捧着卤鸡腿啥的……
…………
惨了，maths书上的习题究竟要做多少啊？vector algebra到differencial calculas好像很多啊？thermo的也没做啊，新出来的notes没print出来怎么办？
现在8点，可以测试一下我能认真奋斗到几点，并且在过年意识的强烈影响下。 January 28 Blood on Dance Floor 夜幕降临，赤道的气候温柔而平静地呼吸着。
年轻人狂欢的场所慢慢清醒了起来，火热的气氛在强节奏的带领下渐渐舒展开来。
从未见过这样的安全健康，那也是激情释放的最好平台。
昏暗闪烁，常常是烟雾缭绕。因为清晰的事物在那一刻并不重要，强烈的意识却应该占领高地。直白的一切教人理智和冷静，差者则是死寂与尴尬。闪烁是一种兴奋剂，不停地刺激着脑神经中的每一个活跃细胞。
音乐震耳欲聋，打击节奏引起心脏的共鸣。交流的方式不是语言，因为那太复杂，太封闭，太有限。身体的扭动，五体的摇摆就能最大程度地宣泄情感。这里没有害羞，只有直率；没有丑陋，只有自然。
这种或重复或变幻的形式一直延续着，仿佛永远不愿意被削弱或者被停止。没有劳累，只要你用内心深处与环境交流，四肢已经超出被控制的状态。年轻人能承受，因为用不完的激情和狂热。
象牙塔的闷闷学子，嘻哈舞蹈的爱好者，西方国家的客人，本土的前卫分子，大方友善的绅士，动感劲爆的辣妹……只有这种狂欢的方式才能成为他们共同的喜好，才能成为连接所有年轻人一根金线。
跳吧！舞吧！叫吧！笑吧！释放吧！尽兴吧！欢庆吧！年轻吧！……
血洒舞池。
I really don't believe that such a pitiable person who still keeps his first can enjoy himself in a totally different passional environment.
或许那就是迷茫完美的定义吧。 January 27 自然 心情舒畅。直好，难得感觉这么自然。
可能是因为春节来了吧。两年多了，对以往春节的怀念在慢慢远去。
取代临园宾馆中餐小吃、德庄火锅、龙湖鸭肠王，圣水寺子夜香，麻将的，是柑橘、林志源肉干、cookies、鱼生，牛车水年货市场，包饺子。可能还有“过新年！祝新年！新年到！年年年……“的吟唱吧。
不想就此又胡乱感叹一番，懒得去捉摸。
明天成功结束后（呵，肯定会的哈），可能就要从“头“开始了哈。 January 25 烦tastic哎呀，心情复杂啊，更准确地说应该是很乱吧。 I find myself quite lousy in everything these days. Don't know why lei. 可能要求越来越高了吧，或者说想在很多事情上急于求成吧。 很多notes应该要看一下了……27号要表演了……school CNY dinner刚结束……春节要来了……头发该变短了……好像该打回家了……《霍元甲》是不是该支持一下？……老胡究竟多久发专辑？……仙三外什么时候才能玩到？！……是不是该买机票了？……到底要不要拿个minor？……暑假到底做莫？……shit! befriending programme 好像又不能去……哎，星期四要上的tutorials我做了没有啊？……对了，how a hell can I sell those freaky cookies?!………………………………………………………………………………………… 哎呀，who cares! 反正很乱就是了。 要睡了，带着这么多恶心的问题。 不用思考的大脑一定是很幸福的，不用抉择的人们一定是很轻松的。 可惜对我都不适用。 January 21 把根留住 可以说有点遗憾吧，来这儿都两年了，第一次去中国大使馆。
怎么说呢，像回国的感觉吧，很像很像，从一看到门卫开始。使馆内的陈设和装饰当然很有讲究的，这可是代表一个国家尊严相貌的地方。编钟，陶瓷，万里长城镂空浮雕，《清明上河图》刺绣……传统，华丽，典雅，而不张扬。我是去参加一个迎新春联欢会，听这名字就带着浓浓的中国韵味。节目内容和形式让人完全回忆起了当年喜迎春节的场面。
这种感觉很熟悉，它激起的是脑海深处的共鸣。我有种被突然敲醒的感觉，对啊，这就是咱们中国人的聚会，咱们中国人的联欢，咱们中国人独有的文化习俗啊。为什么曾陪伴自己十多年的东西在思想意识里慢慢地退色？
记得有个中国tutor说过这样一句话：以后我们到哪里，都是外国人了。先是觉得很有道理，现在越来越觉得害怕。传统文化的东西是最珍贵的，更何况我们来自一个有着五千年文明历史的泱泱大国。留学是一个丰富人生阅历的尝试，而不是改变人根基的过程。至少我这么认为。牢记自己的根基，因为它的源远流长，它的博大精深，它的弥足珍贵，是一个值得每个中国人为之骄傲的。若干年后，一直保留着自己根基的人，才是丰富的人，完整的人，才是值得敬佩的人。
我一直在努力地完全融入这里的社会，但也在尽力地保护的自己的根基。因为我真的不想去到哪里，都是外国人。 January 20 MorningLuckily, I met this guy called Morning today. He's been giving me three shocks. Firstly, he's a gooding dancer, "brought up" by Patrick, from my dear hometown CHINA! Secondly, surprisingly, instead of being an expecting SM1 scholar, he's SM2! Thirdly, and perhaps the most amazing one, he's the 1st batch, which means that ever since 1997, he came here already, as the only SM2 scholar from Guanzhou. It has always been nice to meet the seniors, and especially for this time. I kind of smell out how life could be for me in the future. It's really pround to see such a good dancer from China, and this encourages me a lot. Well, being told that I probably am the 2nd or 3rd China guy in MJ ever since 1997, I feel myself quite lucky. This might not be a popular club for us, but yeah, we Chinas can do well also. Morning is a good example.
Suddenly realize that I haven't been here for 4 days already. Too lazy? Maybe. But I feel that there's nothing much to say also. Sleep, Study and Slack for me. Dance plays a part also, and this influences a lot. See? 0:19 already, but still got several tutorials to finish by tmr. Shit! Poor me! January 15 学习 学习，学习才是硬道理。这几天累积起来的tutorial够我做的了，估计这种情况还会延续一周，哦，不，说不定两周。不要啊！！那太长了！
有点佩服自己竟然可以完全睡过2个小时的make-up lecture。哎呀，其实也不算睡过啦，算忘了。I mean谁会记得星期六还要补课。还好错过的thermo不会那么恐怖，lecturer挺耐心的，每一点都很细，除了听着有点想睡觉其他没什么缺点。
有前人老田曰：参加一个club基本上就够了。我的意思是在你还想学习的情况下，for those who don't mind to "DA BAO" the next sem, this is not applicable. 哦，还有，老田复曰：一定要选择自己感兴趣的club。不然后果真的可以说惨不忍睹！没有啦，反正不好就是了。
哎呀，谁要买票啊？？！！这个“ARTS FROM THE HEART“真是撒大网补大鱼啊，那么多筹款活动，加上CAC19个member clubs，看来需要帮助的儿童真的很多啊。不过，花30块钱去表演值得吗？不懂哎。 January 14 A bit Lost Yeah, I am a bit lost now, thinking about the future 10-year life here.
Suddenly feel that the 6-year bonding seems really long. How am I going to enjoy it? In what way? Just stick to the old one? Or try new things?
It came to me so fast, and that's why I say lost. I know that I am choosing my own way of life currently, but what is the best choice? I mean especially for me. Too many things are waiting to be learnt and done.
Oh, I went to watch "FUNKAMANIA", the Inter-Tertiary Hip-Hop Dance Competition, with MJ people today. It's nice, which is just what I expect. Now I come to understand the meanings and of hip-hop, only a bit maybe. There is always a theme in every dance, every kind of dance including hip-hop. It's not just jumping up and down crazily by the youth. It's one kind of way to express ideas and feelings by using the black culture. Well, for competition, the energetic steps are not what they compete for already, because everybody can do it well. What becomes important is the creativity, and the plenty of dancing elements that fulfil the performance itself.
So how about being a fulltime dancer?......
Ha? Me? Oh, NO!...... Please! Tell me that was a joke! January 11 About Career Well, I guess this would be the first time, but not the last time, I am doing the updating in the library. A few reasons are listed: not really want to study after 5-hour-non-stop lectures; the waiting Q in the printing room is crazily long; but most importantly, I would like to note down what I have learnt just now in the addtional lecture.
I have registered for the so-called "Career Workshop", but actually the last portion only. It has been an one-hour lecture titled "Career Management in the University", which falls on today and makes me stay in LT2 for 5 hours from early morning all the way untill noon. Well, I know this is still incomparable to somebody who has 9-hour lectures a day with only a one-hour break in between, but it's really enough for me already. However, the last hour career lecture came to be quite interesting and meaningful to me.
Year one student seem to be too young to talk about career, I think. But this was not true. And it is recommanded to start managing your career as soon as possible, as early as possible. MOE even plans to add career things to primary school in Singapore.
So why is it so important? Hope that I still can remember what the lecturer has said:
We need to plan for our life. Ever since young, we were asked to give our future goal, our ambition. Without a goal, life is messy. If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.
Options are plentiful and plan your own career you like.
Resources are scarce. What resource? Your youth. At 21, you get a N4 job, work for 3 or 4 years and find out you don't like it, quit. You are 25 and it's still okay to get another N4 job. Working for another 3 or 4 years may tell you that this is not your flavour either. Now you are approaching 30, would there be a N4 job still avaliable for you? Or the younger job-hunters? So Keep in mind that you are only young once.
We are living in the fast changing world. Have you ever recognized that knowledge would expire? It is true that every scientific subject will totally renew in 4 or 6 years nowadays. You are going find what you are learning now is totally useless after graduate. I suppose that in your diploma, it's better to have the validaition period in the end. Like:"Best use before..." (hahaha...). Seriously who would employ an IT expert of old and expired softwares?
(To be continued...)(sorry ha, but I have to Q for 龚诗嘉 compus concert already...)
(Oh, just got back and not too much to say. And yeah, continue...)
Competition is very keen. I don't think I have to say too much for this, since it's especially true for China. Huge population means huge competion. I'm sure everyone has heard of NCEE in China, which is aparently the best example. Well, competion exists everywhere in the world. It is said that 24% Singaporeans would get tertiary education nowadays.
External market force. Woo, this is about the cheap labour force from India and China in Singapore. Maybe not applicable for me, but the truth is there. I can understand the pressure that Singaporeans undergo because of this. Employees are those talents asking for lower wages.
Change in the work relationship. To be specific, it's from a family-like relationship in the past, to a partnership now. It is understandable if you know how the world develops.
Secondly, how to manage your career well?
Know yourself. Konw the environment. Know the trend.
(Shit! Library is closing soon. Have to stop!)
(Okie, start again. Just realise that today's diary become a bit wordy. But never mind, I am trying to take down what I remember as much as possible.)
Always be aware of what you likes and what you are good at. Notice that you may be happy when doing something you are not good at. Similarly, you may also have certain skills in some aspects which you are not really interested. So how? For career choosing, you should be focusing on what you like. Everything sucks if you don't like them. On the contrary, to do what you want to do makes yourself get better and better, surely it does!
And in addition, when talking about your interests, be specific please. Jobs with same names stand for really different work in different companies. When talking about your wants, always ask yourself what to archieve? When to archieve? How to archieve?
Also, consider your values and constraints during the management. Values can be anything, including religion belief, or personal habits. Forget about those jobs that go against your values. Find out your constraints, avoid them and get rid of them.
Last, but not the least, can you not plan for your career? No! No! No!
If you don't plan, somebody else is going to plan for you. Will you choose your own career or let other people to choose you? You may face difficulties or problems along the way. But once you have the plan, the destination is clear. Let's say you wanna go to Changi Airport from NTU. You plan to take 179 to Boon Lay, and then take MRT. 179 breaks down halfway, but you can still walk to Boon Lay, because you know where you are approaching. MRT breaks down halfway also. Never mind, you can take cab to Changi, because you are clear where the destination is. The taxi may break down as well, which still can not stop you from approaching the destination. This is just what we should do in career.
What can you do:
if you would be happy for a day? Go fishing maybe.
if you would be happy for a month? Get married maybe.
if you would be happy for a year? Get an inheritance maybe.
if you would be happy for life? Love the work definitely. January 10 信息产业 or 恶势力 觉得有点奇怪，自己还要到马来西亚朋友那里传来中国论坛上的东西。有点惭愧啦，但我觉得说明了很多问题。
中国网络共享资源的规模、速度、范围真实大得吓人，也可以说无人能敌，至少我这么觉得。昨天晚上八点半左右，全亚洲50多家中文电台首播周杰伦最新创作《霍元甲》（经典啊！！哎呀，这些废话不用多说），音乐试听网站及其歌迷论坛真的可以说在最快的时间内提供了新歌的试听和下载。更新速度惊人到几乎就发生在电台刚刚播完。著名的百度贴吧上，关于新歌的介绍评论感想瞬间刷屏。我不知道这是不是因为是周老大的缘故，肯定有这个因素在里面啦，不过仔细想想，其他的任何新闻资源又何尝不是如此呢？
任何事物有利有弊，所以我不知道这究竟是优点还是缺点。其实很简单，就是要看人们怎么利用它。速度快，通讯业获益匪浅，范围广，信息传播业如鱼得水。谁都想知道当天的新闻，甚至可以说当时的新闻。共享的资源也可以节省人们很多的精力和时间。不过，相信还有很多“狡猾的势力“借助着强大的网络达到自己的目的。懒得说，所有人都明白，某种意义上讲也是没有办法的事情。漫长的斗争，我们都还只在初级阶段。我们就往好处想就行了，网络是为人们造福的。
从外国朋友的电脑里，看到那中国几个如雷贯耳的论坛名字，多多少少有些特殊的感觉。我其实真的不懂这是好是坏，应该骄傲还是应该感到可悲。这或许就是要解决的问题吧。 January 08 过渡状态 有一种状态叫做过渡。
开学第一周不上tutorial，是一种经典的开局，我想这就是提供一种过渡吧。如果立即产生每天9小时的课时，一定会让若干人情绪失控，其中包括我。
无奈，因为自己的状态也像是在过渡一样。记得原来有一种疾病叫做“开学综合症“，患者应该都是在假期完全遗忘书本是什么模样的人。最好的预防工作，就是拥有这种“过渡“状态，并让其在最短的时间内以最好的形式结束。
哦，那就做一点能让它早点结束的事情吧：
Definition
当你心里想看书，脑子里却又不挺地想别的东西；当闹钟，响后被按掉，再响在被按掉，接着响又被按掉（这可是有贪睡功能的闹钟）……如此反复5次以上直到只剩下飞奔到LT才来得及的时间下，才费尽九牛二虎之力从床上坐起来；当你发现，msn上留学美国加拿大的同学都上线了，自己还不想关掉电脑去睡觉的时候；当1300pm变成早饭时间，1630pm又准时肚子饿，晚饭没有个准点儿，一天到底吃了几顿自己也记不着的时候…………etc. 所谓的“过渡“状态到来了。
Domain
Three conditions are to be discussed:
Characteristic
What to do “下定决心，不怕牺牲，排除万难，争取胜利。“呵呵，没有啦。其实就是要让这个“过渡“尽早产生，尽早结束。方法很多，除了那些封电脑抢图书馆闭关隐居等等十分奏效但不提倡的疯狂做法外，也许还可以用这种无聊的方式写一下blog。 January 06 Busy Jan Shit! Busy Jan for me.
There are totally 4 performances we need to make, and of course more trainings to do as well. Have to miss serveral lectures, which upsets me the most! Sem2's modules are much crazier! I think I really have to struggle against 23AUs by working terribly diligently, which I do not think I am currently, if I wanna get better results. But mo bian lor, MJ is also what I choose, at least that is what I want to do.
I am just wondering how the life will be for CAC president. I mean how the word "study" would find its existence in his/her life. January 05 不同点，或者叫差距 《无极》好像被很多人骂，我也没有多问大家都在骂什么。前几天去感受了一下，怎么说呢？不能说没有大片的气势，但奇怪的是仿佛没有太多的感触。当时不能完全明白为什么，现在似乎有了点想法。
刚看完《The Island》，被触动很深，常常如此。因为我是个容易被触动的人，只要让我感到应该为什么而被触动就可以。很简单是吧，可为什么《无极》似乎很难做到呢？我觉得它很乱，很散，不懂到底精髓宗旨在哪里。或许到了最后那个什么“……我们永远也不会相信别人……“才突兀得冒出点火花。电影花了很多钱，很多地方也非常艺术，那些唯美的画面是很多大导演侧重的方面和追求的目标。这是好事，观众因为这个，足足饱了眼福。但为什么在灵魂方面也变得如此艺术？艺术得抽象，抽象得散乱，散乱得迷茫。我不懂电影的艺术，只是感觉到明确突出主旨思想更容易让人理解和接受，更容易与观众交流，更容易打动别人。散文都说要形散而神不散。……倾城永远得不到爱，即时得到了也会马上失去……光明和神之间的赌博……“不要死，要好好活着“……“羽毛是我的“……昆仑的目标……“你让我失去了做好人的机会“……“命运是可以改变的“……这些仿佛寓意深刻的东西太多了，实在让人难以捉摸什么才是主干。或许只能从片名的the promise中猜出点玄机。
和很多外国大片一样，《The Island》很轻易赢得了人们的感动。至少它让人很容易的知道它就是在描写一个逃出克隆岛的故事，让人反思关于克隆的道德伦理。寓意很简单，但表现很到位，思想很深刻。不必谈那些对未来超时空的幻想是否精彩成功，人物命运经历是否惊险而扣人心弦，至少在抓电影灵魂的方面显得精准而干净，把要表达的意思表达得淋漓尽致。观众沿着清晰的方位向前走，最后慢慢地被触动。
看完《无极》想到《神话》，看完《The Island》想到《The Rock》。因为感觉相似。
我想，这可能也是它们的不同点吧。
或者有些人愿意说差距。 January 02 就这样 就这样，假期结束了。和它开始一样，没什么特别的感觉。其实早就想到了，就会这样碌碌得过去，不会留下难忘。这一点，总是有别于养成游戏中的男主人公。
要总结一下吗？没怎么样，除了彻底放松之外，更进一步融入了新国社会一点，可能只有一点而已。不过，也可能学到不少，现在一时想不起来。因为无时无刻不在吸纳着新的知识信息，好的坏的，美的丑的。其实干什么事都可以增长见识丰富阅历，看你怎么干，怎么看待。这么想也许可以自我安慰一下，但假期其实真的可以更加精彩。
开学了，这会说真的了，繁重的课业要来了。怎么办？努力呗，不然还能怎样。这个，写blog的时间肯定会少，反省总结的时间也就少了，这也是没办法的事。
这又会扯到物质生活和精神生活的哲理关系，所以，不用多想，硬着头皮上。
对了，organ的notes是不是得先看一下…… January 01 新年快乐！ 不管怎么说，新的一切就要开始了，就在钟声敲响的那一刹那。
新年快乐！所有人都这样的祝福这对方，因为那简直就是金玉良言。新年快乐，说的是要在接下来的一年内都要快乐。刚看到一位陌生朋友说06年头等大事：开心最重要，顿时为之倾动。对啊，新的一年来了，还有什么能比快乐还重要呢？
新年快乐！永远快乐！所有人！ |
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